For the Memory of Virginia : :
Photo courtesy of
roypopephotography.com
"Roy photographs the world with
a pair of loving eyes and a hugging heart." |
APACHE JUNCTION, AZ. --
March 3rd, 2007
One night an email arrives that pulls at all my emotions. It
reads like this:
"Señor, I have maintained my daughter's roadside marker for 14
years now. I will soon be gone as well. It was important for me, in the waning years of my life, to be able to
speak with her at the place she last spoke on Earth.
I know that this memorial means nothing to anyone but I, & I will soon vanish from existence..." |
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Over the next three months, we shared each other's
heartaches, stories of loss and ways to find peace. He shared of his devotion and
his love of Virginia. Who she was for him & how much he missed
her in his life. I am sitting here crying from the words he
used:
| "When I visit my daughter's descanso the
first thing I say is, 'I'm sorry that I couldn't
save you.' I've said this 28 straight times (twice a
year), and it never gets easier, and it never helps,
and it never stops me from returning..." |
I did not know him physically but I did get to know him
emotionally & spiritually. He was a man who was loving and caring. But a man hurting
on the inside. He talks of how to keep Virginia's memory alive
and allowing his pain to be known. There was an urgent need to
tell me his story, but I also saw another need. A bigger more
important need - He wanted me to know who Virginia was. This was
more vital and there was a real urgency - almost as if it was
about to fade away. I asked David what would you like Virginia
to know. He said :
|
"I know that this memorial means nothing to anyone but I, and I will soon vanish from existence.
I want her to know that she will NEVER be
forgotten!" |
I felt his pain and his sense of loneliness. It
almost felt as if he thought he had failed to protect
Virginia and he needed her to know that he is still
trying. What consoles me is that he was reached a state
of peace knowing that his heart would soon
be with her and that he would hurt no more. What sticks with me the most from our emails is the
following message:
| "I have had dreams, and I have had
heartaches, I have lived, I have loved, I have hurt
inside and out. Some crushed dreams (my daughter)
cannot be overcome, no matter how hard you try. I am
a welder by trade and her descanso [roadside
memorial] will last longer than most. But it too
will be uprooted at some point by someone who knows
nothing of the story that goes with the memorial. It
is the passing of sand and time. Perhaps
someday they will come to understand the grief that
passed that spot so very long ago." |
On May 31, 2007 David sent me a last email that reads:
| "Thank you for your words and kindness. I [am dying and] cannot continue. Praise be to God and his son Jesus." |
-- Rest in peace, David! --
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More & more these signs are dotting the edge of the highway.
These signs - 'descansos'
(Spanish for 'place of rest') along the highway stand as symbols
of love, remembrance & celebration of life.
Please consider making a donation. Your assistance will help offset costs of running this site, creating & documenting roadside memorials.
Slideshow of All Memorials |
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Contact Me
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That day,
I made a promise to David that Virginia's memory will not fade
with his passing.
| "I WILL find a way of seeing
the descanso you created for Virginia. The distance from Florida to
Arizona is great, AND that will not stop me!
Know that I already see your greatness & devotion. And will soon get
to see your creation & let people know who she was
for you. I will continue to have you &
your daughter in my thoughts forever."
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I don't know why I made that promise - I felt I had to. I felt that he wanted to go in peace knowing
that the memory of Virginia will not die with his passing. I
don't know when or if I will see myself being in
Arizona. I don't know how I am going to see that memorial. Maybe it was the need to give a dying man a final
wish to hope for...
OR ...
Maybe it was for me to cause a life where I get to live outside of my box & to actually
be the one that creates a world where his memory of Virginia gets to live on!
The folklore of his struggle; his heartaches; his continual
devotion and love for Virginia could not just vanish with his passing! How could I
have the possibility of a father's Unconditional Love alive
and real for me if I just allow the "winds of time to blow
away his grains of sand."
So I took on that promise as my quest... (Read More
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